One of the signs of someone who might be living with depression and even suicidal thoughts is a person who visits the school nurse, the doctor, the ER, or urgent care often with physical complaints. (Keep in mind that everyone who has depression isn’t suicidal and every person who has suicidal thoughts isn’t necessarily living with depression.)
It’s not because “it’s all in their head” or “psychosomatic”
Almost half of the primary care patients with depression reported mostly physical complaints to their GP. Compared to patients without depression, patients with depression reported significantly more complaints, as well as a more frequent combination of physical and mental complaints.1
- Depression lowers the immune system making someone who has the disorder more vulnerable to catching virus of the month
- A person with depression can take risks, and be very cavalier about life, which can lead to more accidents like broken bones so they show up in the ER more often. (Taking risks can also indicate suicidal thoughts.)
- Someone with depression can often have medical complaints that the person doesn’t equate with a mental health condition.
In the case of my son, Charles, all of that was true but because of extreme anxiety, he’d tighten his muscles even while he slept which led to sore muscles, phantom moving pains in his back, and debilitating headaches. And then there were the panic attacks which he thought meant he was dying before we worked on strategies for that. He also caught any virus that was going around.
I knew the first name of every school nurse at every school my son Charles went to
The school nurses had me on speed dial back when there was such a thing. They didn’t even know I had an older son but they knew (and loved) Charles. He was also at our primary care at least four times more often than my older son throughout the years.
Unfortunately since the pandemic, school administrators hyperfocused on “loss of learning” will encourage the school nurses to get a kid back to class ASAP not allowing for an opportunity for that child to unload and reflect. That’s why I feel we should have more school wellness centers to be the triage for the school nurses and school counselors—kids who just need to be heard and where they can reflect and take a minute in an atmosphere designed for that. This prevents people from getting to crisis.
Our workplaces should have a place like that, too. Imagine what that would do to productivity and retention.
Suicide risk and healthcare visits
Research has shown a large percentage of those who visit the ER are at risk of suicide and there can be an even higher rate of healthcare visits prior to a suicide or suicide attempt. In looking at suicide deaths, 80 percent of patients had contact with some type of healthcare provider within the year prior to their suicide.
My son had three visits in the week before he killed himself. He was in distress emotionally at the time yet no one did a suicide risk assessment or questioned him about the state of his mental health.
Studies
- “Doctor, my back hurts and I cannot sleep.” Depression in primary care patients: Reasons for consultation and perceived depression stigma
- Healthcare contacts in the year before suicide death
- Number of visits to the emergency department and risk of suicide: a population-based case–control study
- What’s Stopping You From Seeing a Doctor About Depression?
In memory of my son Charles, the funniest most popular kid in school who lived with depression, and addiction and died by suicide in 2015 at the age of 20.
How to Recognize Symptoms of Depression
- For those who are curious about their own symptoms
- For those who love someone they suspect may be living with depression
- Signs you’ve read about and signs that are less talked about w/ examples
- What loved ones can say/do to be supportive plus resources
AnneMoss Rogers is a leading wellness and suicide education expert and one of the top mental health speakers and suicide prevention speakers. Known for her powerful, motivational keynotes, AnneMoss combines her personal story of loss with proven strategies to help organizations build a wellness culture that drives results and saves lives. She speaks at conferences, workplaces, K-12 schools, and universities, delivering impactful presentations that inspire change and promote mental health awareness.
AnneMoss does this work in memory of her son, Charles, who struggled with anxiety, depression, and addiction, and died by suicide at age 20 in 2015.
This is such a worthy article as it highlights what most of us may just take for granted. Unfortunately, people who attend hospitals or doctors more than others, well they are endowed with that insultingly dismissive title of being a Hypochondriac. And so I wonder how many people would be saved if we recognized the negativity of this term and just were present to support them. And then we have that usual chestnut of “They are just attention seekers.” Hello! Of course they are seeking attention as very few people truly want to die; they die because of the pain in their life and more so if that pain is clinical.
Thanks again for getting us all to think outside the box.
I hate the term “Hypochondriac” as it applies to this subject. So often mental health and physical health are intertwined as the brain doesn’t make the distinction like we do. And when someone says “they are just trying to get attention” I usually say “Give it to them. How else would one get help?” It’s just another way to brand someone as “weak” which is an unfair label because nothing is braver than sharing one’s deepest feelings.
So extremely well said and so very, very true. It certainly does take bravery for us to become vulnerable for our vulnerability is ultimately our strength
“Our vulnerability is our strength.” Just writing it down to pull out the quote.
I was one of those who visited the doctor all the time as a child. The student nurse was my best friend practucally
Thank you for your comment Jason