Boring isn’t bad. You might think so. But after something awful has happened? You’ll do anything for boring again. You will crave it like spring after a harsh winter.
Never again will I take for granted boredom or normalcy
I can do something about either of those. I can shake things up or dispel boredom by doing something. Or I can sit with it.
But I couldn’t do anything after my son’s death by suicide.
Prior to his death, our lives were chaos. My son’s drug addiction had us tied in knots–our hearts, our stomachs, our minds. We wanted to fix it but there was no fixing it. There were no boring moments anymore because I was always on high alert.
What had once been something I dreaded, became something I wanted to feel again because it signified a normal life, not a shattered one. I didn’t even know I would miss it. But I did.
Boredom is actually a rare event in this digital world
People fear it and whenever they feel it, they pick up their phones to fill their heads and avoid it. Those of us who remember a time before so many screens know how those moments of boredom meant space–space that allowed our brains to recharge and provided room to think, dream, imagine, watch clouds, and create.
Boredom helps you build perseverance, endurance, patience, and resilience. That empty space of time unfilled does have value. Yet we have so little of it and we fail to appreciate it.
Today when you are tempted to reach for the phone because it’s a habit to avoid boredom, stop yourself. Let yourself sit and appreciate it’s peace and value. Relish and treasure it. Embrace it and see it as a moment of peace–a moment that doesn’t have to be filled with anything.
AnneMoss Rogers is a leading wellness and suicide education expert and one of the top mental health speakers and suicide prevention speakers. Known for her powerful, motivational keynotes, AnneMoss combines her personal story of loss with proven strategies to help organizations build a wellness culture that drives results and saves lives. She speaks at conferences, workplaces, K-12 schools, and universities, delivering impactful presentations that inspire change and promote mental health awareness.
AnneMoss does this work in memory of her son, Charles, who struggled with anxiety, depression, and addiction, and died by suicide at age 20 in 2015.
Dear Ann, I wish I could meet you. Everytime you write a post, it’s as if you were right here , walking with me, and understanding me completely. You write what I feel and think. My son passed 4.5 years ago, by his choice, and while I have “accepted” it, I also have not, nor ever will. This week I have no appts on my calendar and I will embrace the boredom or the peace of being on my own. I thank you for continuing to help us all on this journey that we did not want and forever changed us all. My kindest regards, Sharon
Maybe we will meet. Let me know your city and state (not your specific address.) I love meeting my tribe when I am out on the road. I love chatting, getting a photo since we are often in the same club.
Thank you for your comment too. There is no rule we have to “accept” a death despite what those near little charts say. And I am sorry you lost your son the same way I lost mine. Much love.
Hi Anne, I live in Ontario Canada. I think of traveling to the states like I used to and one day I hope to again soon. In the meantime, my husband and I continue to read your posts and they help. God Bless.
I do speak in Canada but not as often. Thank you so much, Sharon. I’m so glad it helps.