The video below, which recently surpassed one million views on Instagram, was filmed years ago by Judy, a member of our Chesterfield Suicide Prevention Coalition.

Our coalition partners annually with local police officers and Lock & Talk Virginia to visit both small gun shops and large big box retailers that sell firearms (e.g., Dick’s Sporting Goods). Together, we educate gun sales staff on how to recognize signs that a customer might be in a suicidal crisis and pass out posters and information.

The police officers often already have relationships with these business owners because they supply service weapons to local law enforcement. Walking in together opens doors and creates conversations that might not happen otherwise.

This story from a gun store manager in Chesterfield County during those visits has stayed with me for years.

I’ve shared it before. Several times, in fact. But on the fourth try, it landed at exactly the right moment. People connected with it, shared it, and reflected on it. And I also added the visual headline to the image, “Gun Store Manager Saw Signs of Suicide.” 

On June 5, 2026, the video surpassed one million views on Instagram—a meaningful milestone that happened to occur on my son Charles’s death anniversary. (Thank you, baby)

The video itself is at least eight years old, but its message remains as relevant as ever. So keep reading and do watch the 2-minute video. 

In the video, a gun sales associate recalls refusing a firearm sale because something didn’t feel right. The customer had recently lost his job and appeared emotionally defeated. Trusting his instincts, the associate declined the sale.

Some time later, the customer returned.

Instead of being angry, the customer thanked the gun store manager. He said he’d gotten a new job and things were looking up. He also said to the shop manager, “You knew what I was going to do, didn’t you?” And the store manager said, “I had an idea.” 

What seemed like a difficult and uncomfortable decision in the moment may have saved a life.

We often talk about “putting time between thought and action” during a suicidal crisis

Many suicidal crises are temporary. They don’t last forever. Even a short delay can allow intense emotions to subside, provide an opportunity for intervention, or give someone a chance to reach out for help, or rethink their situation 

Research consistently shows that reducing immediate access to highly lethal means like a gun, during a suicidal crisis saves lives. As much as 30-50%!

Most suicidal crises are time-limited, often lasting minutes to hours rather than days. And minutes are far more common.

When access to a firearm is delayed—even briefly—it can create enough time for the intensity of the crisis to pass, for someone to connect with support, or for a different choice to be made. Suicide prevention is not about taking away rights; it’s about creating a pause when someone’s judgment may be impaired by overwhelming emotional pain. 

This also makes a great case for securing firearms.

• To keep a family safe, particularly vulnerable children and their friends
• To protect your investment

Most guns are stolen out of cars left in consoles or glove boxes. And you can get a safe that keeps your firearm at the ready and transfer the security if you are having a difficult time until things improve. Safe firearm storage saves lives. 

More than half of firearm deaths in the United States are suicides

The percentage is slightly higher in Virginia, where I live.

This story reminds us that suicide prevention is not always the work of mental health professionals. Sometimes it is an ordinary person paying attention, noticing something feels off, and trusting their gut and having a conversation. Listening and caring.

Sometimes saying “no” is exactly the right thing to do.

My take is this guy wanted to tell someone. He wanted someone to listen. And someone did, and it happened to be just the right person at the right time. 

Signs of a Possible Suicidal Customer in a Gun Shop

A customer may:

• Appear unusually down, withdrawn, or emotionally flat
• Not joke, engage in conversation, or interact as expected
• Select a firearm quickly without asking questions about quality, features, or fit
• Seem detached, indifferent, or hollow
• Volunteer information about a recent major loss, such as losing a job or ending a relationship
• Ask questions about death, such as, “How quickly would someone die from a gunshot wound?”

Often, people buy into the myth that “they’ll just go somewhere else”

And while that’s a logical thought, often those in suicidal crisis are experiencing a type of tunnel vision, or constricted thinking, which doesn’t allow for a lot of critical thinking or problem solving.

It’s more like black-and-white thinking, and they can’t see other choices when, in fact, there are. The interruption in their thought process, of feeling heard, can be enough to create a lifesaving shift. 

No single sign means someone is suicidal. But when several signs appear together, it may be worth slowing down, asking questions, and paying attention.

Because sometimes trusting your instincts can save a life. This guy sure did. And I was glad we were there to hear it and that Judy thought to capture the story on video. Because firearm salespeople are far more likely to understand what we mean when they hear it from their own. They are also people and don’t want the gun they sold to be used for a crime or for someone to kill themselves. 

Remember that we usually cannot save someone from suicide. But we can help someone save their own life. 

For more information, see Means Matter. For training, you can access CALM (Counseling on Access to Lethal Means) Training free.

Related Article:

The Photo That Stopped My Heart. Safe Storage Saves Lives