Typically, the term ‘trigger,’ which I prefer to call an ‘activator,’ describes an emotional or psychological reaction to a situation, memory, or stimulus that reminds a person of a past trauma, memory, or distress. While many people associate being ‘activated’ (or ‘triggered’) with something negative or unpleasant, that is not always the case.

If reframed as an opportunity, activation can serve as a powerful catalyst for working through difficult memories and emotions.

Let me be clear that I’m not belittling your trauma. Not all horrible past events that sneak up on you through your senses are easily resolved but for the ones that are, here are some examples and steps you can take.

An activator can be a smell, sight, touch, sound, or experience

The reaction to the trigger can range from mild discomfort to intense emotional distress, depending on the individual and circumstances.

Sometimes it can cause a spiral.

Sometimes it works as exposure therapy lessening the impact of future activating events.

Sometimes, after an initial jolt of surprise, it can soften into a pleasant reminder or memory. Or activate an internal process of acceptance and thoughtful appreciation.

I remember asking an audience to think about bacon cooking and what that smell reminded them of

Most of the attendees had positive memories like Sunday mornings with the family chatting, drinking coffee, and laughing together. One attendee had a less pleasant visceral response because she was badly burned by bacon grease and permanently scarred as a child. Another attendee had an immediate negative response as she remembered her mom cooking crack on the same stove her dad had cooked them bacon.

The same smell, all different experiences.

When Charles, my son who died by suicide in 2015, was depressed, he had a sweet scent about him. Then it would go away once the episode subsided. After his death, I walked out of my room and was hit with that very distinctive, one-of-a-kind scent. No other person had it. And no other family member other than me could smell it. It was a jolt at first and then softened because I decided to take it as a sign he was with me.

Not all activating experiences are pleasant or can be turned into a sweet memory.

But with practice, you can sit with the intense emotion and allow it to cool which it will naturally do. The skill is trying to keep it from forcing you to spiral.

In short, it offers an opportunity to face it, work through it, and take your power back.

If you shrink from it and avoid it, you’re cheating yourself out of the ability to develop the resilience and coping skills necessary to face shock, heal, or build your emotional muscle.

How do you deal with an emotional activator so you don’t spiral?

Dealing with an emotional trigger in a way that allows you to reframe it involves self-awareness, self-compassion, and intentional practice. Here’s a step-by-step approach:

1. Pause and Acknowledge the Activation

• Notice when you’re feeling activated, take a deep breath, and name the emotion (e.g., anger, sadness, fear).
• Avoid judging your reaction. Remind yourself that it’s a natural response to a past experience and simply acknowledge it. In DBT, dialectical behavioral skills, the skill that involves acknowledging an emotion without reacting is called “radical acceptance.” This DBT skill emphasizes accepting your emotions as they are, without judgment or attempts to fight against them, allowing you to simply observe and “ride the wave” of the feeling without impulsive actions.

2. Ground Yourself

• Use grounding techniques to return to the present moment, such as deep breathing, focusing on your senses, or repeating a calming phrase.
• For example, practice the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: identify 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.

3. Explore the Root Cause

• Reflect on why this particular situation or stimulus activated you. What experience or belief might be tied to this feeling?
• Journaling can help clarify these connections.

4. Reframe the Narrative

• Challenge the negative thoughts or beliefs associated with the activation. Ask yourself:
  • “Is this thought helping or harming me?”
  • “What would I say to a friend who felt this way?”
• Look for a growth-oriented perspective. For instance, instead of seeing the trigger as purely painful, view it as an opportunity to better understand yourself.

5. Practice Self-Compassion

• Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel vulnerable. Healing is a process, not a straight-line instant fix.
• Use affirmations like, “I am safe right now,” or “This feeling is temporary, and I am capable of managing it.”

6. Seek Support if Needed

• Talk to someone you trust, such as a friend, therapist, or support group. Sharing your experience can provide validation and perspective.
• Some trauma requires more sophisticated techniques like EMDR. If it’s not feeling manageable, look for a therapist trained in trauma and EMDR which is effective for allowing you to reframe and take the power away from frightening memories.

7. Develop Coping Strategies

• Build a toolbox of healthy coping mechanisms, like mindfulness, meditation, art, exercise, or spending time in nature.
• Regularly practicing these skills can strengthen your resilience over time.

8. Celebrate Progress

• Recognize and celebrate small wins, even if it’s just pausing to reflect instead of reacting. Progress is cumulative, and each step matters. Over time, they can lose their power and simply be part of the tapestry of your life and experience.

By reframing a trigger as an activator for growth, you can gradually shift your perspective and use these moments to foster deeper healing and self-awareness.

AnneMoss Rogers

AnneMoss Rogers is a leading wellness and suicide education expert and one of the top mental health speakers and suicide prevention speakers. Known for her powerful, motivational keynotes, AnneMoss combines her personal story of loss with proven strategies to help organizations build a wellness culture that drives results and saves lives.  She speaks at conferences, workplaces, K-12 schools, and universities, delivering impactful presentations that inspire change and promote mental health awareness.
AnneMoss does this work in memory of her son, Charles, who struggled with anxiety, depression, and addiction, and died by suicide at age 20 in 2015.