by James Espinoza, MS, CPD, RBLP-T

As a U.S. Army veteran, retired law enforcement leader, and suicide loss survivor, which I have covered in previous articles, I’ve witnessed firsthand the silent battles men fight behind the uniform—and beyond it. The emotional weight of service, trauma, and unspoken expectations of strength can be crushing.

Losing my own brother, a fellow veteran, to suicide deepened my commitment to breaking the stigma surrounding men’s mental health. And in June, Men’s Mental Health Month, it’s more important than ever to encourage men to reach for positive, proactive solutions—whether it’s through therapy, peer support, or spiritual connection.

We must create spaces where vulnerability is honored, not hidden, and where asking for help is seen as a powerful act of courage, not weakness.

When we find ourselves overwhelmed, broken, or numb from grief, the path to healing begins with three actions:

Reach Up.

Reach Out.

Speak Your Truth.

Whether you are struggling yourself or walking beside someone who is, these steps can be lifesaving.

Reach Up

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” – Psalm 34:18

In our darkest moments, we must reach up–toward God, a Higher Power, or the healing energy of the universe. Even if your faith is uncertain, hope can still be found in spiritual connection.

From therapy and EMDR, to Peer Rescue Protocol, Stellate Ganglion Block, yoga, mindfulness, retreats, and support groups—these many powerful healing practices draw from a higher authority. These are more than just tools; they are ways to connect with something sacred that can lead us back to peace.

God does not cause suffering.

But in a fallen world where pain is inevitable, He can use suffering for purpose. If we allow ourselves to listen, we may hear His voice even in the lessons we never asked for. Pain is real.

But how we respond is where healing begins.

Reach Out

No one heals alone. But not every listener is the right one.

Reaching out should be done confidently, competently, and confidentially. Venting to someone unprepared to help may unintentionally deepen the wound. And not everyone is prepared to sit with you in your tragedy.

Trained professionals, trauma-informed peers, and trusted support networks offer safe spaces to unpack what weighs on you. Whether it’s EMDR, a trusted therapist, group counseling, or a veteran retreat, these options are available–and they work.

Unresolved grief is not harmless.

Studies show that suppressed grief can contribute to serious mental and physical health conditions, from depression and anxiety to chronic illness and substance abuse. The cost of silence is often greater than we realize.

Speak Your Truth

If you say you’re “fine” and it’s true–praise God for that.

But if it’s not true, say that too.

Speaking your truth gives your soul space to breathe. Naming your pain, sadness, fear, or anger is not weakness. It is a courageous act of healing.

You don’t need to perform interpretive dance (unless that’s your thing!), but you do need a way to express what’s inside. Try writing, painting, playing music, speaking to a friend, going fishing, or just saying, “I’m hurting.”

Creative expression–art therapy, journaling, poetry, storytelling–has been clinically shown to help reduce trauma symptoms, improve mental clarity, and promote post-traumatic growth. But post traumatic growth doesn’t happen automatically, you have to be intentional and pursue healing paths.

Your story matters, not just to you, but to someone else waiting in the shadows. When you heal out loud, others find the courage to speak.

What Resources Helped You Heal?

There is no one-size-fits-all path to recovery. We want to know: What helped you reach up, reach out, or speak your truth?

Please share in the comments or send us a message. You never know whose life you might change with your words.

A special thanks to Stella Moreno, a fellow board member and passionate advocate, whose thoughtful insight and discussion served as inspiration for this message. Her ability to connect conversation to real-world application encouraged me to explore this topic from a deeply personal and professional lens.

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James Espinoza, MS, CPD, RBLP-T

James Espinoza is a U.S. Army veteran, retired law enforcement leader, and passionate advocate for suicide prevention, trauma recovery, and whole-person wellness. As the President and Co-Founder of The Veteran Mentor Project, Inc., James works tirelessly to guide veterans, first responders, and their families through the challenges of transition and healing. He is a certified Resilience Trainer, Trauma Resilience Coach, and public speaker committed to the message that no one is too broken to be restored.