What are those last straw events or moments that push people toward suicide?

First, we need to understand that suicide is not the result of one adverse event. You’ll see headlines like “High School Boy Kills Himself Because of a Breakup,” but that is not accurate because no one dies by suicide for one reason alone.

In this hypothetical example, if a high school boy dies by suicide shortly after a romantic breakup, this life event was likely a contributing factor and possibly a “last straw” event that pushed an already vulnerable student toward suicide. By isolating it as “the event” that caused the death, we are unfairly placing the burden of the death by suicide on the person who had every right to end a relationship that was not working.

However, there are usually multiple underlying vulnerabilities such as trauma or mental illness, in addition to factors related to family history, health history, and the psychosocial environment.

Suicide is a result of a constellation of issues that happen all at once, and there can be a precipitating event that serves as a kind of “last straw,” pushing someone into deep despair where they believe their pain is unfixable.

Vulnerabilities That Can Act as the ‘Last Straw’

While most people—including students—do not attempt or die by suicide when faced with a transition or relationship disruption, these moments do foster stress, depression, and despair. This means we need to provide additional encouragement and support during these times.

We’ll break these down in layman’s terms so you understand what “transition” means for different groups of people and how relationship disruptions impact their lives.

This post was meant to break down the terms “transition” and “relationship disruptions” into relatable adverse life events.

What Are Transitions?

When Kim O’Brien, PhD, LICSW, and I were interviewing experts for our book, Emotionally Naked: A Teacher’s Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk, Victor Schwartz, MD, former medical director of the JED Foundation, discussed how transitions are difficult for young people and a time when they are at greater risk.

However, these periods also amplify risk for vulnerable adults.

The difference is that young people often face these issues for the first time, with little life experience to help them cope, while adults may experience accumulated losses, making each new disruption harder to bear.

Younger people are at higher risk during these times because they haven’t yet developed the skills to manage change and transition effectively. While most students do not attempt or die by suicide during these periods, they indicate times of stress, making them opportunities to normalize conversations around mental health and offer additional support.

For Students:

Transitions Include:

• Elementary school to middle school
• Middle school to high school
• High school graduation
• High school to college
• High school to the workforce
• College to real life
• Dropping out of high school or college

Below is a survey from over 500 university students on how they feel about their first semester at school. Fifty-three percent of students felt anxious, ambivalent, hopeless, or invisible because major change at this age is difficult!

Mini-Transitions for students include:

• Leaving for holiday break and returning to school
• Leaving for spring break and returning to school
• Leaving for summer break and returning to school

Transitions often bring anxiety, as students may be leaving a supportive environment and entering one with less support or vice versa. They are periods of emotional discord, including anxiety and depression, and therefore potential times of suicide risk or relapse.

As a side note, in my work with K-12 schools and universities, I have observed that returning to school from holiday, summer, and spring breaks—rather than leaving campus—seems to be more commonly associated with suicide and overdose attempts and deaths in my experience.

For Adults or Students:

Major Life Transitions Include:

• Moving to a new home, city, state, or country
• Changes in living arrangements due to divorce (both a transition and a relationship disruption)

Career and Financial Transitions:

• Retirement (even when planned)
• Job loss, layoffs, or forced retirement
• Career changes or stagnation, including being passed over for promotion
• Starting a new business or experiencing business failure
• Significant financial hardship, loss, or bankruptcy

Health and Aging Transitions:

• Diagnosis of a chronic illness or disability
• Sudden physical disability or accident
• Aging-related changes (loss of independence, cognitive decline)
• Mental health deterioration or new psychiatric diagnosis

Legal and Personal Transitions:

• Legal issues, incarceration, or facing criminal charges
• Trauma from violence, assault, or abuse
• Becoming a caregiver for a loved one
• Major lifestyle changes (e.g., leaving a cult, accepting one’s LGBTQ+ identity)

Service Member Transitions:

• Deployment and combat exposure
• Returning from deployment (adjusting to civilian life, PTSD)
• Injury or disability (loss of identity, frustration)
• Transitioning out of the military (loss of structure, camaraderie, purpose)
• Military sexual trauma (assault or harassment, fear of reporting)
• Rank and career setbacks (denied promotions, dishonorable discharge)
• Substance abuse and self-medication (coping with trauma, pain, depression)
• Loss of a fellow service member (death in combat, suicide contagion)

Military Family Transitions:

• Frequent relocations (loss of stability, support networks, difficulty finding employment)
• Extended separations (emotional strain of deployments, solo parenting stress)
• Financial stress (pay instability, difficulty finding employment for spouses)
• Fear and anxiety for deployed loved ones
• Reintegration challenges (changes in family dynamics post-deployment)
• Caring for a wounded veteran
• Grieving a fallen service member

These transitions can create a perfect storm for suicide risk, especially when combined with mental health challenges, stigma around seeking help, and a lack of accessible resources.

Another Trigger: Relationship Disruptions

Relationship disruptions occur when significant changes happen in someone’s personal or social world. This can range from an argument with a roommate to a romantic breakup, parental divorce, or grieving the loss of a friend or family member.

Examples of Relationship Disruptions:

For Young People:

• Romantic breakups (loss of identity, social status, or support system)
• Romantic rejection (unrequited love, public humiliation)
• Grief and loss (friend, sibling, or parent)
• Bullying & cyberbullying (social exclusion, harassment, public shaming)
• Friendship loss or betrayal
• Family conflict or divorce
• Rejection due to sexual orientation/gender identity (including forced outing)
• Social isolation (moving, exclusion, struggles connecting due to neurodivergence, addiction, or other factors)

For Adults:

• Divorce or separation
• Infidelity (identity crisis, self-worth issues)
• Toxic relationships (emotional, verbal, economic, sexual, or physical abuse)
• Estrangement from family or children
• Death of a loved one (spouse, child, pet, best friend)
• Breakdown of friendships or support networks
• Feeling trapped in or leaving an abusive relationship
• Empty Nest. (Major change in life purpose.)

Both young people and adults experience rejection, isolation, and loss of identity. Acknowledging these risk factors helps us recognize when additional support and intervention may be needed.

Sources:

• Facilitating Treatment Engagement During High-Risk Transition Periods: A Potential Suicide Prevention Strategy
• Understanding Suicide over the Life Course Using Data Science Tools within a Triangulation Framework
• The deadly gap: Understanding suicide among veterans transitioning out of the military
• One-Fifth of Suicide Deaths Linked to Relationship Problems

AnneMoss Rogers

AnneMoss Rogers is a leading wellness and suicide education expert and one of the top mental health speakers and suicide prevention speakers. Known for her powerful, motivational keynotes, AnneMoss combines her personal story of loss with proven strategies to help organizations build a wellness culture that drives results and saves lives.  She speaks at conferences, workplaces, K-12 schools, and universities, delivering impactful presentations that inspire change and promote mental health awareness.
AnneMoss does this work in memory of her son, Charles, who struggled with anxiety, depression, and addiction, and died by suicide at age 20 in 2015.