Joy is an experience and a state of being. Happiness is an emotion.
Joy is something felt in the heart. Happiness is something seen on a face.
Joy is a shared experience. Happiness is a personal treasure.
A joyous smile is seen in the eyes. A happy smile is seen on the lips.
Joy is a warm embrace. Happiness is finding a forgotten $20 in your pocket.
Joy is a soul state that can bloom from a moment of happiness.
“Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.” —Mother Teresa
Joy is a state of being in which you experience a feeling of fulfillment and connection to something bigger than yourself. It’s often more internal and comes with a deeper sense of peace and contentment. Joyful moments take time and maturity to define and appreciate.
Happiness, on the other hand, is an emotion influenced by external circumstances. When something good happens, it’s the elation you feel that can be described as happiness. I think of it as the booster shot of emotions.
Winning the lottery would be filed as a moment of happiness. Having a baby is a moment of joy although it can be both at the same time moment when it happens.
“Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within.” —Eckhart Tolle
Joyous moments are ones you can tuck away in your brain’s file vault to relish, savor, and remember later. Those are moments that when you call them up, they remind you of a deeper connection with an event in time. They can be ethereal and harder to define but you know when you feel it as warmth in your chest, like something is blooming.
When I am doing a “coping card” as a group activity, under the heading of “What makes life worth living?” I often tell people that in addition to answering that question, they should also add a keyword phrase that serves as a reminder of a joyful memory. Examples have been #beachtrip2004 #vienna1996 and #sarasbirth2001. These are moments in a person’s life that remind them of purpose and times they have felt joy.
“It’s not Joy that makes us grateful. It’s gratitude that makes us joyful.” —Anonymous
Neither happiness nor joy is a utopia you reach and stay forever
Emotions, feelings, and states of being are always temporary and constantly changing. But feelings of joy can be called up and can bring with them a sense of happiness.
Happiness vs Joy
| HAPPINESS IS | JOY IS |
| External Euphoria | Internal Contentment |
| Depends on External Circumstances | Independent of External Circumstances |
| An Emotional Response | A State of Being |
| A Want Fulfilled | An Appreciation of What You Have |
| Offers a Lift in Spirits | Offers a Sense of Purpose |
| Feels Like Falling in Love | The Richness of Long-Term Love |
Keys to Finding Joy
While this list could be 100, we’ve limited it to 10.
- Set the Intention – If you tell yourself you’ll never find it, you likely won’t. So, trust that you will find joy in your life and tell yourself to recognize it when it happens and savor that moment.
- Practice Gratitude – Reflect daily on one thing you’re grateful for or go outside and stare at something beautiful like a waterfall.
- Focus on the Present – Don’t wallow on the past, or anxiously hover over a future that has not happened. Be present in today.
- Connect with Others – Build meaningful relationships and intentionally stay connected with friends and loved ones.
- Savor Moments When You Feel Warmth and Love – Say to yourself “I want to remember this moment,” then tuck it away to retrieve later.
- Learn Something New – Stimulate your mind with fresh challenges.
- Stop Comparing – It is the thief of joy
- Celebrate Small Wins and Past Wins – Acknowledge and savor progress, no matter how small. And don’t forget that which you have already achieved.
- Reframe Difficult Past Experiences – Train your mind to see the positives in every situation, how it changed you, and what you can take forward to help others.
- Give Back – Volunteer or help others to experience deeper fulfillment.
Coping Card Activity (PPT and PDF) The coping card activity for everyone
AnneMoss Rogers is a leading wellness and suicide education expert and one of the top mental health speakers and suicide prevention speakers. Known for her powerful, motivational keynotes, AnneMoss combines her personal story of loss with proven strategies to help organizations build a wellness culture that drives results and saves lives. She speaks at conferences, workplaces, K-12 schools, and universities, delivering impactful presentations that inspire change and promote mental health awareness.
AnneMoss does this work in memory of her son, Charles, who struggled with anxiety, depression, and addiction, and died by suicide at age 20 in 2015.
I really liked this article. If I have it right, Joy is so elusive as it is something deeper within ourselves and it is more likely to stay with us, whereas happiness is more widespread though more fleeting.
When I see an insect flying from one flower or plant to another, that is what gives me that deep sense of joy as I connect to the thing which unites us all – the ethereal “Soul” for want of a better term. By way of one example.
A month before my partner died, and just after the death of our little dog, we were outside in the garden. At that stage, I had a birdbath and I noticed a small ripple upon the outer edge of the circle of water but I could not discern the reason for this ripple. As I bent down closer, I espied the tiniest of flies drinking from the water. He then stood back and the ripple departed and then he came back and the ripple started anew. I watched him for some 10 minutes and he was then joined by another. Because I was bent low, I notice some bees flitting from flower to flower on the plants located behind the birdbath, an area that was dark yet cool that warm day. Then I saw some butterflies darting about and a small spider upon a web. How the micro world became alive that day. It was a very humbly moment as I was invited into their world, not by words but by action, The experience was more lofty than an invitation from a monarch.
My partner was to remark to a friend (I was later to hear) that this particular day was the best day for him since losing his Aunt in August, about 10 months earlier. He told them that he felt at peace since losing her, my mother and then our little dog. Hearing this was so hard as it broke my heart.
However, for myself, the memory of that day is one of privilege as the insects performed their dance for us both. Looking back, maybe they knew what was occurring in my partner’s mind and their dance was one to take him out of his pain if but for a moment. And though this thought makes me sad it likewise brings a joyful sense of peace to my heart. I was happy that day but now I realize that it was more than this, it was JOY. For the memory has stayed with me since that day in early November 2021 and just writing this takes me back into that Sacred Moment of my deep connection to the World of Nature. It likewise makes my heart glad that at least my partner experienced a day of Happiness before the demons in his mind took his life from him and his life from me.
Thank you so much for writing such a beautiful essay. It will stay with me forever.
That is so beautiful. And perfectly captures the state of being known as joy. Thank you for taking the time to share it here.