When my son was about 19 (in the red jacket), he sent me this photo of himself playing with someone’s dad’s gun collection. I was driving home, pulled into a gas station, saw the picture, and gasped.
Where were they?
Whose guns were these?
Were they loaded?
Who lets a group of boys play with guns without parental permission?
Who took the photo?
And they posted it on Twitter?
For a flickering moment, a surge of danger passed through me… followed by a brief thought about suicide, even though for the most part it wasn’t on my radar. But we were having some issues with Charles—mental health and substance misuse.
This was around 2015, three months before my son died by suicide—not with a firearm, by the way. While I didn’t know it, my son was addicted to heroin at the time. So hardly in a state to be handling lethal weapons.
Here’s what we often don’t talk about
In 2023, 58% of firearm deaths in the U.S. were suicides, not homicides or accidents. 1,2 In some states, that number is over 70%.3
My message is not “get rid of guns.”
It’s SAFE STORAGE. (Safe suggestion from a firearm owner below.)
A gun in a nightstand or under a pillow poses risk not just to the owner, but to everyone in the home. Most families who lose someone to suicide had no idea their loved one was struggling before that person used the gun in the home.
However, if you do sleep with a gun under your pillow, I’m not going to “talk you out of it.” But I would ask, “Would you be willing to secure the weapon in a safe in the morning once you wake up?” It’s about safety after all. Safety for your family and storing weapons is a known method of keeping a family safe.
Accidental shooting where I live
In 2025 in Richmond, VA, a popular 13-year-old basketball star died in an accidental shooting while kids were looking through a friend’s parents’ gun collection—some reportedly loaded. Accidental firearm deaths, while making up just 1% of firearm deaths per year,1 are also preventable, as are many youth firearm suicides.
We can’t control what’s in someone’s head.
We can’t control some of the antics kids get into.
We can control what they have access to in our home.
How?
- By locking up firearms
- Using thumbprint safes
- Using gun locks—often available free through local police departments or health agencies
This is called “Reducing access to lethal means,” and it buys time by putting time between thought and action.
Suicidal thoughts are often intense—but temporary.
When a gun is nearby, a moment of pain can become irreversible. When it’s not easily accessible, those thoughts often pass, and it’s a myth to think, “they’ll just find another way.” Because someone in a suicidal state is often experiencing a type of tunnel vision, making it very unlikely they can think of another way to kill themselves.
Impulsivity is often mentioned as one of the central risk factors for suicidal behaviour (Hambrich, Nemes, Soare, & Cozman, 2017; Mann et al., 1999). 4
Source: Paashaus et al., 2021
My cousin Pat died by suicide in 2020
His firearm was accessible and inches away in his nightstand after a night of little sleep and a lot of drinking and drugging. I think 10 seconds later, he would not have made a lethal decision that made his son fatherless.
One clinical study of people hospitalized after a suicide attempt asked how long it was between the first thought of suicide and the attempt. 47.6% reported that period was 10 minutes or less. 5
Source: Deisenhammer et al., J Clin Psychiatry, 2009
In short, People frequently act on suicidal urges within minutes to tens of minutes of deciding to attempt.6 Safe storage saves lives. That’s responsible gun ownership.
If you own firearms, please store them under lock and key. If you’re willing, share how you’ve made your home safer or resources to help save lives.
Suggested Safe by someone who owns firearms
The quote is first, and then below that links to videos and their website. What firearm owners like is that these safes make their weapons accessible if needed, without being a danger to other members of the household.
Vaultek Safe Inc. Slider Series is my quick-access safe of choice. It’s WiFi-enabled with push notifications in case anyone tries to access my safe. Programmed multiple fingerprints of myself and my wife, along with a numerical code input or a key. Not unlockable via the app. We feel very safe and secure with an easily accessible loaded gun. Plus they gotta get past the dog first!
Also, terribly sorry to hear about your loss(es). I lost both my father and cousin to suicide. Grief counseling is truly what gave me all the strength to become the man I am today. Shoutout Mom
—Tim Chandler, Rochester, Minnesota
Vaulteck Safe Slider Series. (I have no affiliation with the company, only a recommendation from firearm owners who use it and say that it’s safer for them and their families, and one said the vertical wall safe by the bed was a “faster grab” than having a gun under a pillow or in a bedside table.
Read what others have said on LinkedIn here.
Sources:
- Pew Research Center: Suicides accounted for more than half of U.S. gun deaths in 2021. In 2021, 54% of all gun-related deaths in the U.S. were suicides (26,328), while 43% were murders (20,958). Pew Research Center
- A 2025 report from the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, based on finalized CDC mortality data for 2023, found that 58% of all firearm fatalities in the United States were due to suicide (27,300 out of 46,728 total gun deaths).—Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. (2025). Gun Violence in the United States 2023: Examining the Gun Suicide Epidemic (based on CDC mortality data).
- The places with the highest gun suicide rates in 2023 included Wyoming (19.0 per 100,000 people), Montana (17.6), Alaska (16.0), Idaho (15.1), and Oklahoma (13.6).— Source
- From decision to action: Suicidal history and time between decision to die and actual suicide attempt—Paashaus, L., Forkmann, T., Glaesmer, H., Juckel, G., Rath, D., Schönfelder, A., & Teismann, T. (2021). From decision to action: Suicidal history and time between decision to die and actual suicide attempt. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 28(6), 1427-1434. https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.2580.
- The duration of the suicidal process: how much time is left for intervention between consideration and accomplishment of a suicide attempt? -Deisenhammer EA, Ing CM, Strauss R, Kemmler G, Hinterhuber H, Weiss EM. The duration of the suicidal process: how much time is left for intervention between consideration and accomplishment of a suicide attempt? J Clin Psychiatry. 2009 Jan;70(1):19-24. Epub 2008 Oct 21. PMID: 19026258.
- 2024 National Strategy for Suicide Prevention
- New Report Highlights U.S. 2023 Gun Deaths: Suicide by Firearm at Record Levels for Third Straight Year
Resources:
- CALM Training, Counseling on Access to Lethal Means
- SAFER Together– S.A.F.E.R. Together is a grassroots suicide prevention initiative dedicated to offering an additional layer of support for Military, Veterans, and First Responders (MVFR).
- Toolkit for promoting firearm safe storage from Harvard (PDF)
- Lock Arms for Life—Lock Arms for Life received grant funding from the City of Austin’s Office of Violence Prevention to produce a graphic novel aimed at raising awareness and educating the public about safe handling and storage.
- University of Michigan, Store Safely: Firearm Injury Prevention for Rural Families
- Lock & Talk Virginia
- Means Matter, Harvard Research Center
- Vaulteck Safe Slider Series. (I have no affiliation with the company, only a recommendation from firearm owners who use it and say that it’s faster and safer than having it under a pillow or in a bedside table.
- Website with the Slider Series
- YouTube Video demo of the slider series and different applications
- On Amazon with videos and reviews
Crisis Lines
- Suicide and Crisis Lifeline 988
- 988 online chat lifeline
- 988 for deaf or hard of hearing
- Call 1-800-273-8255 from a videophone to reach a Lifeline counselor trained in ASL
- TTY for deaf or hard of hearing Dial 711, then 1-800-273-8255
- Crisis text line. Text the word HELP to 741-741
- Veteran’s Services, call 988, press 1
- Veteran’s text line, send “HELP” to 838-255
- Crisis phone line for LGBTQ Youth 1-866-488-7386
- Crisis text line for LGBTQ Youth 678-678
- USA Trans Lifeline 1-877-565-8860
AnneMoss Rogers is a leading wellness and suicide education expert and one of the top mental health speakers and suicide prevention speakers. Known for her powerful, motivational keynotes, AnneMoss combines her personal story of loss with proven strategies to help organizations build a wellness culture that drives results and saves lives. She speaks at conferences, workplaces, K-12 schools, and universities, delivering impactful presentations that inspire change and promote mental health awareness.
AnneMoss does this work in memory of her son, Charles, who struggled with anxiety, depression, and addiction, and died by suicide at age 20 in 2015.
Here’s a natural, respectful comment you could post under the article:
This was a really powerful read. The part about how quickly a suicidal crisis can turn into action really stayed with me. I think the message here is important because it focuses on safe storage and protecting families, not judging firearm owners.
A lot of people don’t realize that something as simple as using a quick access gun safe or lock can create enough time to prevent a tragedy. Thank you for sharing such a personal story and starting a conversation that more families need to have.
It’s part of meeting people where they are. Do they want to protect vulnerable children? Do they want to protect their investment? If the person who owns a firearm is having a crisis, we can address that one on one. One husband gave his keys to his wife (no app for this one) when he was struggling, for example.
This is such an important issue as a gun will generally kill once the trigger is pulled. Limiting access to make guns less accessible is a good thing.
My concern is that if one still has a gun in a safe that is easily accessible, does it truly help?
If the period between the thought and the act is around 10 minutes, then the person has time to get to their gun.
A safe should be designed, l believe, so that it requires two different sets of fingerprints to open it. Of course, there are exceptions as to how appropriate may be from a colonial investigation perspective (a second person forcing the first person to open the safe and kill themselves). But in the vast majority of cases, access by two people should go a long way to decreasing suicide deaths by GSW and especially by impulse.
These are just a couple of stray thoughts that come to mind.
Lastly, l encourage other readers to do the Reducing Access to Means Course as offered by the Zero Suicide institute, as mentioned in this article.
I learnt much from completing this course myself.
Thank you Heath. I think limiting access all together would definitely lower rates because firearms are highly lethal and most suicide attempts with a firearm (85-90%) end in death. The surviving percentage usually live with significant disability.
However, in the USA, that is a very hot, controversial subject. In the UK, licensed firearm owners are inspected annually to make sure they have the necessary training and security in their home to store a weapon or it is taken from them. We don’t have that here and our country is so large it would be unfeasible at this point and certainly not supported currently.
But often presenting different ideas for security helps people decide what they are willing to do and I like your idea. But we can’t make them and so I often present different ideas so people do one of them. We can only hope they’ll take some measure of safety as it’s not yet required and even if it was it would be hard to enforce. So I think your idea of two thumbprints especially makes sense at a time when one of the adults is at risk. There are all kinds of creative ideas some of which are in this podcast. There are a lot of creative ideas discussed in the two podcasts I provided links to below especially #82 with Michael.
So I focused this article on youth because I had this personal experience and the incident and photo represents what irresponsible firearm ownership looks like and how dangerous it is. Adults are certainly at risk, too. My cousin Pat being one of them who died by suicide in 2020.
Here in the USA, it’s about meeting people where they are and taking a motivational interviewing approach to firearm safety.
Here are additional resources related to limiting access to lethal means:
Thanks for the additional resources. I do appreciate that the situation in the USA is very different and that the topic can be contentious.
I only hope that we can all work towards decreasing suicide, as too the attempts. It is a very disheartening event for those who experience such a loss and very stigmatising for those who do survive, not forgetting, disabling.
I do know what you mean. And I can say that 5 years ago this would have been hard to write.