Whether it’s grief, or shame from addiction, feeling depressed, worthless, unimportant, or helpless, one of the many ways the emotions of trauma, pain, and tragedy express themselves in our bodies is through our posture.

We carry our burdens bent over like trees bowing to the ground in a windstorm. Literally, it can look like we are carrying a burden on our backs. No wonder the center of our upper backs often feel knotted and tight. That can in turn trigger soreness and even headaches.

Many years ago, I had a yoga teacher named Jay. An African American man, slight in build and adorned with the most incredible dreadlocks I have ever seen, he’d gently come up behind me in class and say, “Shoulders out of your ears AnneMoss.”

That always made me feel well taken care of because he was so thoughtful and gentle. His voice alone could put me in a trance.

I would then take a deep breath, let go, and relax– holding my spine straight like he had taught us. He would often ask the class if they would picture leaving their burdens in a box outside. With the door closed they could not get in and they’d stay there as long as we were in class and that would make it easier to hold a good posture and form throughout our class.

Metaphorically, I go back to that class and picture that box, close the door, relax my shoulders, and straighten my posture. It offers a moment of peace and a moment to regroup and refill.

These days when I walk, I find I’m all tensed up at the start and I chant to myself, “Shoulders out of your ears, AnneMoss. Stand up straight, stand proud even if you don’t feel it right now.”

Awareness, positive self-talk, and encouraging myself to straighten my posture and get my shoulders out of my ears inspires more confidence. Just taking on the posture says, “You’ll figure this out. I know you can and will.” At times that exercise has said, “You are important. What you do matters.”

This exercise is a very simple coping strategy and exercise. It costs nothing to try it and it gives you the energy to refuel and reframe.

Coping Strategies for Grief & Loss

This is a practical guide by AnneMoss Rogers and Karla Helbert LPC with examples and handholding for those who are grieving

• Choose from over 17 coping strategies to help you manage the pain of loss
• Learn how to lessen your suffering

Download the Free eBook

Heart with Wings image is original artwork by Mehmet Sahin Altug from Cool-Colors.com, Cool Colors Gallery, Richmond VA.

AnneMoss Rogers

AnneMoss Rogers is a leading wellness and suicide education expert and one of the top mental health speakers and suicide prevention speakers. Known for her powerful, motivational keynotes, AnneMoss combines her personal story of loss with proven strategies to help organizations build a wellness culture that drives results and saves lives.  She speaks at conferences, workplaces, K-12 schools, and universities, delivering impactful presentations that inspire change and promote mental health awareness.
AnneMoss does this work in memory of her son, Charles, who struggled with anxiety, depression, and addiction, and died by suicide at age 20 in 2015.